I've Been Waiting For This Moment All My Life, But It's Not Quite Right

So I just now decided that I am going to find song lyrics that actually have to do with the post from now on to use as my titles. This one kind of goes with the last one more though.

Song: Lazy Eye...Silversun Pickups

This song is really good. I'm in love with it right now.

So, remember a while back when I said that if I learn things about myself I'll make sure to put them on here? Well, if you don't, I did, and I am. Going to do that. o_O

I used to feel very self centered about it, but you know, I started thinking, why do I do this blog? So people can read it. My readers, or former readers, are my friends and family. They must read this because they like me, to whatever degree. If they don't like me, they'll stop reading this, because it's all about me. ALL ABOUT ME, I SAY! And what's wrong with that? I write my thoughts so they're here, for you to read them if you so wish, and largely for me to read them back when I am older. I want to see how I was, and if I changed a lot, and how I changed, and blah blah blah. Right now I'm young, and this blog, in ways, is a document of my youth. I want to remember this, I want to be able to think back to this. Youth is trying to find yourself, and I think maybe this will help me with it. Which brings me to that fact I was talking about...

Fact: I go through a lot of phases. Lots (maybe even most) people do. It's okay! It's fine that one minute I want tripp pants and purple streaks and the next I want floral dresses and dreads. I used to try to resist these chaging phases, try to stay with one and be the most concentrated version of whatever I was trying to be at the moment, and not deviate. But you know what? Not anymore. This is me declaring that no more will I cling to the bank. I WILL go with the flow. If I am into something at the moment, I will not try to deny myself of it because I am trying to be something else. I pledge to fully fully embrace and love my phases, and to let them go when the time comes for a new one!

AMEN HALLELUJAH!!

:D


In other news, I have to be here until 5:30 even though we got out at 12 ish today. We took the Plan test, which is a gauge of how well you'll do on the ACT test. I don't think I did very well, but I'm actually very glad I got to take it because now I know what to work on (timing! I am SO SLOW) and what it's like. It isn't too bad, thankfully.

Now I have to wait around school until 3, when rehearsal starts. After that, going to the movies with Derek. After that, chem and AP. :(

P.S. I found a good title for this one. Stop Making Plans, Start Making Sense.

Oh, What If I Never Knew Your Name? Oh My God, The Thought's Insane.

I thought high school was supposed to be the best time of your life. NOT. It's not. Well it's not so far. The only thing that's been the best about high school has been the straight play and musical. It makes me really sad. I HAVE to take personal fitness this summer...it depresses me to no end...and scares the crap out of me. I need to find a way to NOT swim. A) No way I want to be in a bathing suit in front of other people B) My ears get all screwed up if I get water in them. Maybe I can get a doctor's note. I don't know, but I really hope so.

In other news, I have been pressured into AP history again. I'm preparing to die even more next year. I'm SO excited. AND! If we don't go to seven hours, I have to choose between acting and choir. WOOHOO. So far, I hate this school. So far, I hate high school. I have been so much sadder, pisseder, badmooder, this year than any other time I can ever remember.

I'm leaving now.

I Hope That This Makes You Smile And You Might Stay That Way For A While

Okay, I just ate like ten birthday cookies. I got them from Kelly in 2nd hour because she baked them for my birthday. :) Thanks Kelly!!!

Song: 2 Weeks in Hawaii...Hellogoodbye


Okay, remind me to never let my birthday be like that again...

Like, I asked for stuff that would have to come later, so I didn't get to open anything. I'm having a cake on the twelfth, so there was no cake/ice cream/candles/singing. There was pizza, and cookies. It's not that I expected more, it's just that for a while now I had been thinking that the 16th was supposed to be important and big. That and this whole year plus has thrown me out of wack. I didn't really even realize it was my birthday until I woke up and really thought about it. It still didn't even feel like it. I don't know, I probably sound like a spoiled brat, but that's just how it felt yesterday. I just get my hopes way up about things, or think that things are going to be so much better than they actually ever are.

But, on the other hand, I got to spend all day with my mom which was awesome. She might think that I don't like to spend time with her, but I really appreciate it more than she realizes it...that and I may not act like it sometimes. Sometimes I am a jerk to her. I try really hard not to be, but I guess I'm inevitably mean. The point is that I don't think she knows how much I appreciate her. And I know that I can be my bipolar, emotionally unstable self and she will still love me.


Alright well lunch is over now so I think I will go. Back to economics. Freaking. Ay.

Damn, btw.

So Now I'm Running And I'm Moving Too Fast, So Here We Go, Oh

Song: Home...Mae


So I went from Mae radio on Pandora to House of the Rising Sun radio. What a day :D

I'm feeling quite alright right now. I'm not sure how long it's going to last, but you know, whatevs. Actually I have chemistry and algebra right after this class so that will probably hamper my good mood. I really shouldn't be in a good mood, for my rehearsal schedule is bugging me very much. I need to sit down with someone and find out what days and times I need to be here. Which reminds me...Lindsey auditioned for youth chorus! The list should be up by now. *checks*

SHE MADE IT! MY SISTER'S GONNA BE IN THE SHOW WITH ME! YAYYY!

But at the same time not yay, because now it's not just my thing. I know that sounds selfish, but anyway it's true. Now it's not going to be "Congrats, Paige! You did an awesome job in your first high school musical! Woot toot!" Now it's going to be "Good job, Paige. *push aside* Lindsey! You did great in your first musical ever, and to think you were in a high school production! AW with your little costume and your singing and dancing and let's have a party with cake and music...*walk out, drive off*" --5 minutes later-- "Uhm, hi, mom? Dad? Aunts? People? Family? YOU FORGOT ME AT SCHOOL." "Oh, can't you walk? Or, is the janitor still there? Maybe you can hitch a ride with him." "*dies*"

I'm not trying to be nasty, I just am not looking forward to that part. But until we get there, I'm really just uber psyched that she made it.

I LOVE YOU BEST FRAN! CAN'T WAIT!

That's The One!- Pt. I

I Saw The Tears On Your Face, I Shot You Down

Song: The Last Song Ever...Secondhand Serenade

Two posts in one day...lucky crowd. Actually I am about to go do some freestyling on the writing blog. So that'll be what, like, five? I don't know. I can't do math good, I always been more into the English.

So tomorrow is Thursday, and I am going to die. Pretty much Thursdays are the worst, except for Sundays. Sundays...are depressing days.

I pretty much hate all days that I have homeworks. I no like homeworks. If we could just go to school and work and not have as much homework as we do class, that'd be great. I'd probably be a happier person.

ALRIGHT. Scheduling is coming up soon, and for some unknown reason, I want to take psychology and sociology. Maybe sociology, but definitely psych. One of the most interesting and fascinating things on earth is the human brain, but more than that, the human mind. Dreaming? Thought? All that good stuff. I freaking love that stuff. So I deff want to take psychology. Another thing I have to think a LOT about is choir, and skipping French 4. I don't know if I want to take choir, but that may be my only way to get private voice lessons. :( Urghh. I'm happy just doing the musicals, I'd rather not commit to choir, but in reality, choir kids probably have more of a chance at leads. I don't know, I probably won't end up taking it, there are just way too many more classes I want. I really hope we go back to a seven-hour day. :P

I'm gonna go and do that freestizzle now.

Bye.

P.S. I truly love this boy.

You Make Me Happy, Whether You Know It Or Not

I'm on lunch right now, and I really don't know if it's against the rules to be blogging/listening to NSN right now. I mean, it's not a big deal. It's not like I'm up in da computer lab snorting crack, so I think it should be good.

Anywhat...

Song: Happy...Nevershoutnever!

I NEED that CD more than any CD I have ever needed before in my life. Like seriously. It just came out a couple days ago or so, and it's at Target. I need to buy it there AND Itunes, because if you buy it on Itunes you get two bonus songs and a video, which is always a good thing.

People are already coming back from lunch. Darn them all to heck.

I guess I'll post later, even though my family never gets on blogger anymore. Whatevs.