Don't Drop That Thun Thun Thun

I just want to smoke and dance myself into oblivion.

I'm not actually listening to Don't Drop That Thun Thun by Finatticz. We were dancing to it at work.

I don't really know why I decided to blog tonight. LOL I JUST TYPED BLOW INSTEAD OF BLOG BY ACCIDENT HAHAH BLOW GET IT LIKE WHAT YOU DO TO GET A BALLOON FILLED UP WITH AIR

I'm in that mood where I feel an intense desire to make something beautiful. I always think of all these beautiful things that can't be realized due to lack of funds and skill and time.

If you could have one thing for yourself, one wish just for you, not "end world hunger" or "make the people I love truly happy", but something just directly yours, what would you have? I would be in movies. I'd be the beautiful thing I always want to create.

On a completely different note, I really would like to try hallucinogenic drugs at some point in my life. The draw I feel to them is so strong and so much more than just looking to get high and see pretty colors. I want to discover things about the world. I want to open myself up, let the universe into my mind and fully expose myself to what it wants me to understand. Connection to the very earth we stand on...connection to every interdependent strand of existence.

Swiggity swee-em-tee I'm comin' for that DMT. -_-

That being said, I feel drained and confused in my present and feeble state of mind. Today my being is quiet and I am yearning for something I don't comprehend.

We Crave A Different Kind Of Buzz

Song: Royals...Lorde

I really like this song because it's got a really chill vibe and a really subtle fuck you craziness to it.

I was going to make another big post questioning life and feelings and whether anything is truly worth it and what really is going to happen after you die and where do babies come from and stuff but I'd really rather sleep away my problems for the next couple hours.

I guess I could probably start a running update about something that doesn't suck. I've been back on that lucid dream training life. Today I started reality checks. I plug my nose and try to breathe and pinch myself while asking if I'm awake or asleep. I'm excited and scared to see where this goes because I already feel really matrixy sometimes. I'll go somewhere and can't remember getting there, and sometimes have a foggy feeling that things are off, that they're not real for a little while at a time.

Last night was nice. We went to mongo and the drive-in and saw Wolverine and Grown Ups 2 and fought mosquitoes.


Alright, well, back to bed.

Oh, I also finally contacted a therapist. It's time. It's definitely time.

Here's a picture of some fancy ice cubes from tumblr