Supersonic Overdrive

Song: Le Disko...Shiny Toy Guns

Start feeling shitty, go make a blog post.

I've been on a sort of life high for the past few days. I started reading about astral projection and feeling really spiritually driven to find something, do something, strengthen myself. Now, as I've just come home from an exhausting and irritating closing shift after yesterday's ten hours, I'm feeling something of a comedown. I hope that it's just the slight lack of sleep coupled with the unusually large amount of hours I've been working lately.

I haven't been able to have a lucid dream for a while, and that frustrates me more than a little but not extremely. Patience, on a larger scale, is something I have to work on. I need to get more sleep so that my brain has less recuperation to do during sleep. And here I am, blogging when I have to get up at seven tomorrow.

There have been a lot of thoughts lately running through my brain that are so recurring it's annoying and tiring just to think them. "DO NOT eat that." "Don't dwell on it, it's done. Move on." Over and over, as I continue to eat and eat, and dwell and dwell. So often I feel like a failure not in the world, but to myself. And you know, I think that's just as bad, if not worse. I consider myself to be at least relatively secure about my physical self, but actually liking myself as a person inside, or, dare I say it, loving myself, seems so...impossible.

If anybody has got any resources or anything relating to Buddhism, astral projection, etc. I would really appreciate if you'd share it with me. I need something to cling to. I don't want to think about dying all the time again. It's been a nice little while without that.

Shit, why am I crying again? I need to go to bed.

Someone give me something to write about next time besides my goddamn self.